A Wakeup Call…anybody there…?


Most Millennial’s Are Not Pro-Life

I have heard people say that we are in a great era for the pro-life movement, especially because Millennials are highly supportive of life in the womb. Sadly, it is not true. We are tying our hope to a myth.

By George Barna | Thu 11 Jan 2018 

During the past few months I have spoken at some pro-life events as well as several high-level gatherings of national conservative leaders. In each of those meetings I have heard people say that we are in a great era for the pro-life movement, especially because Millennials are highly supportive of life in the womb.

Sadly, it is not true. We are tying our hope to a myth.

A recent national survey conducted by the American Culture & Faith Institute evaluated people’s views about abortion from a variety of angles. It did not arrive at the optimistic view that many in the pro-life movement have projected. While there are certainly bright spots that provide hope that America may someday cease to be a world leader in killing the unborn, one of the danger signs is the aggregate perspective of adults under 30.

In fact, when we compared the views of Millennials to those who are 30 or older, there were consistent differences showing that the younger generation is comparatively less supportive of life and more supportive of abortion.

Specifically, when compared to their elders, Millennials turned out to be:

  • Less likely to strongly believe that all human life is sacred (53 percent vs. 65 percent);
  • Less likely to believe that the U.S. Constitution recognizes the value of every human life (55 percent vs. 76 percent)
  • Less likely to believe that abortion should be illegal in all or most circumstances (25 percent vs. 36 percent)
  • Less likely to say that abortion is murder, regardless of the age or health of the fetus (46 percent vs. 56 percent)
  • Less likely to describe themselves as “pro-life” (30 percent vs. 39 percent)
  • More likely to want the federal government to maintain or increase the amount of funding given to Planned Parenthood (57 percent vs. 47 percent)
  • More likely to describe themselves as “pro-choice” (51 percent vs. 46 percent)

One hopeful outcome was that Millennials are no more likely than older Americans to believe that abortion is either a moral behavior or that it is not a moral issue. Overall, slightly less than half (49 percent) of the 30-plus crowd says abortion is either moral or neither moral nor immoral, while a statistically-similar 47 percent of Millennials take the same position.

Millennials are known to be a socially-conscious, rights-sensitive, future-focused generation. How, then, can they ignore the rights of the unborn and fail to see the moral, ethical, spiritual and political consequences of backing abortion?

Part of it has to do with their spiritual standards. For instance, Millennials are less connected than the rest of the population to Christianity. Compared to their elders, they are only half as likely to be theologically conservative; less than half as likely to have a biblical worldview; and five times more likely to believe that personal rights come from government or society than from God. They are also significantly less prone to accepting the idea that there are absolute morals truths that apply to everyone, regardless of the circumstances.

Other research suggests that the distinct views of Millennials have been dramatically shaped by the massive amount of values-shaping media they have consumed, by parents who have invested less in intentionally teaching their children morals and values, and by schools that have promoted a more progressive social agenda.

The pro-life movement has certainly made valuable strides in recent years. One of the most promising steps forward relates to the widespread efforts to expose young people to graphic videos showing the gruesome practices involved in an abortion. Research on such efforts indicates that when people get a first-hand look at what is entailed in such operations, fewer people support laws that permit the horrible and inhumane killing of the defenseless.

Other research indicates that the number of abortions has declined from its peak, partially due to better contraceptive devices, partially due to the broader use of abortifacients (e.g., “morning-after” pills), and partially due to the reduced number of abortion facilities. That latter condition is the result of the tireless and increasingly effective efforts of pro-life attorneys.

But to continue to move forward, the pro-life movement must be realistic about where things stand in America today. Perhaps the pie-in-the-sky proclamations about the alleged pro-life views of young adults is merely a fundraising tactic meant to bolster the spirits of donors with good news and a positive outlook. If, however, the leaders of the movement truly accept such unfounded beliefs about the Millennials, it will be to the detriment of their movement.

What does the future hold on this matter? Unless substantial changes are made in how young people are introduced to the morals and ethics related to life and death, we may expect them to remain oblivious to the dire situation of the unborn in favor of their seemingly unquenchable thirst for freedom of personal choice in all situations.

And consider this: parents continue to have a considerable influence over the ways their children learn, and which critical lessons are intentionally taught and reinforced in the home. Millennials comprise the dominant parenting generation of children under 13 in America today. Like the generations of parents that preceded them, they will pass on what they believe. That does not portend well for those intent upon protecting the lives of the unborn.

What do you think about this?

Knowledge and Intuition

Knowledge and Intuition

Greg Kouk

in the 19th century novel Far from the Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy listed intuition as the first evidence for the logician. Learn how to use an appeal to man’s intuitive knowledge to defend your Christian world view.

I had some great conversations with a single’s group at a retreat in the mountains this weekend. We focused on making a careful, clear-headed defense of biblical Christianity. When the topic got around to how we know things, the issue of intuition came up.

It seems that as I grow as an apologist, I rely more and more on the relevance of intuition as a way of knowing. I’d like to explain to you what I mean by intuition and show you how capitalizing on the notion of intuition could help you cover a lot of ground when you defend your faith.

We did something at this retreat I’ve never done before, but I’m going to do it again because it was so effective. I often close a talk with a session of Q&A, though sometimes the entire session is an informal Q&A, much like the radio show. That’s fun for me. It’s relaxed, interactive, and I can respond to the most pressing needs facing the audience. This time we did Q&A with a twist.

I started the morning with a talk on the apparent contradiction between James and Paul and the question of faith versus works in salvation (‘Faith and Works? Paul vs. James’). Afterwards, the group leader handed out a list of the ten most difficult questions he thought Christians had to answer in defense of the faith – things like the historical accuracy of the Bible, innocent children dying of disease and earthquakes, the problem of evil, how we know Jesus ever existed, the argument that all religions ultimately lead to God, and so on.

The leader then divided the group into ten smaller groups, one for each question, and gave them 15 minutes to ponder the issue. When they reconvened, we dealt with each question individually. This let them work through the issue on their own – which was a lot of fun – but also gave me an opportunity to respond with more insight and input, such as I was able.

There were times when I responded to things with, “Yes, I think you’re generally on the right track here, but you’ve got to be careful – more precise – in how you put it. The specific way you’ve stated it takes you in a wrong direction, which will cause you problems down the line.”

Or, “Here’s another angle. Instead of ‘preaching’ at a person by simply telling him the answer, it might be better to ask him a question leading him to your point of view.” Then I gave some examples of questions he might use with that issue. (If you’ve listened to the show or our tapes for very long, you’ll recognize this as the ‘Colombo’ tactic. You take the offensive by asking penetrating questions which you know the answer to: fair but leading questions that help you make your point more effectively.)

As I responded to the group, I realized I was using the Colombo tactic in a very particular way, a variation, so to speak.

There are certain things you must know immediately – directly – to have the tools you need to begin learning other things.

I’m convinced that many of the things essential to a Christian world view are things all human beings already believe without being told: the idea that human beings are special, valuable, made in the image of God and have transcendent value; that there’s purpose in life; that man is not only valuable, but twisted, sinful, and guilty and deserves to be punished; that God is real and has made an orderly universe and designed it for a purpose. These are a few things off the top of my head, essential parts of the Christian view of the world that I believe every person already knows deep down inside.

Some of these things I mentioned are known through the faculty of intuition. When I say ‘intuition,’ I mean something very particular. I don’t mean female intuition – a type of insight into a circumstance. I don’t mean a hunch about something. I mean a way of knowing which is immediate and direct. It’s knowledge you start with, knowledge that’s already built in. Our founding fathers called it ‘self-evident’ truth.

This kind of truth isn’t a result of reasoning to a conclusion, so intuitional knowledge doesn’t require a defense. Some people are uncomfortable with this notion. It seems like cheating. Philosopher J.P. Moreland has pointed out, though, that if you can’t know some things without knowing why you know them – if you don’t have some things in place to begin with – you can’t know anything at all. You can’t even begin the task of discovery. Aristotle said that some things can’t be proved, but without them you can’t prove anything.

There are certain things you must know immediately – directly – to have the tools you need to begin learning other things. For example, how is it that you know – and you’re going to say that only a philosopher would ask this kind of question – how is it you know which body in the room is your own? How do you know that you inhabit the body you normally call yours?

How does Greg Koukl know he inhabits and possesses the body that’s sitting right now behind the mike in the KBRT studios? I don’t reason my way to this knowledge. It’s something I know through introspective awareness. I’m introspectively aware of the fact that I’m unified with this body.

If you tell me to prove it, you’d be making an odd request. Maybe an evidence might be that when I will my hand to move, then it’s the hand of this body that begins moving, not the hand of the body across the room. That might be an indication to me which body is mine. But it seems unreasonable for me to have to offer such evidence, because my knowledge of which body is my own is immediate, an intuitive awareness that gives me truth about the world.

I use this bizarre example for a reason. The answer to the question of which body is our own seems so obvious one wonders why even ask the question? That’s the point. We ask the question because we’re trying to get at the foundation of knowledge and not take anything for granted. But it seems like a foolish question, because it’s so obvious which body is ours. We know the answer directly. We take it for granted, and we think it’s foolish to even question it. That’s the power of intuitive knowledge. I think we know many things like that.

Part of the tactical approach I take as a Christian apologist that capitalizes on the fact of intuitional knowledge is a concept I call ‘Back of the Book.’ I know things that are true about people I’ve only just met, but they don’t know I know. I know some of their secrets, in a sense. How do I know them? Because God has revealed, in the Bible, things that are true about every human being. I’ve read the ‘Back of the Book’; I know how the story ends. I’ve peeked into the person’s private file, and so can you.

Because the Book tells us true things about every human being – awareness of God’s existence, the sense of our own value, a knowledge of our own sin and guilt, etc. – we can appeal to those things knowing we’re touching a nerve. Even if a person denies these things are true, I know he’s lying to himself. In his heart of hearts, he knows it, and in unguarded moments the truth comes out from his own lips. How does he know it? Through intuition.

During our ‘Science and Faith’ conference last week, I fielded this question: How do we know there’s purpose in the universe? How can I prove it? My response was that purpose isn’t something we argue for; it’s something we’re already aware of. Even the person challenging me believes that human beings have purpose, even if he’s not immediately aware of it.

How do we make him see it? I ask him a question which causes the intuition to rise to the surface. For example, if somebody challenges about purpose in life, I’ll ask him if he’s ever talked anyone out of suicide. Has he ever deplored a young person’s ‘untimely’ death? Has he ever called such a thing tragic? A child dies of a disease. A car full of promising high school seniors out for a night on the town gets hit by a train, and they all perish. Has he ever called such a thing tragic?

Virtually everyone, when faced with a potential suicide, will try to talk the person out of it. Now, here’s the question: Why? Why talk someone out of suicide if life has no purpose? Everyone, at some time or another, has shaken his head at the tragedy of an untimely death. Why is it tragic when a six-year-old dies of leukemia, or a car load of high school honor students perishes at a railroad crossing? Why is that tragic? Because an untimely death is one that happens before its time, before a certain purpose is accomplished?

Now the question you must ask yourself is this: ‘What religious view makes sense out of the idea that human beings have purpose?’

Our reactions to these things – suicide, untimely deaths, etc. – are spontaneous, immediate, and intuitive. Deep down inside we know that each person’s life is meant for something. It’s not just that they have personal aspirations. A very young child dying of leukemia doesn’t aspire. We consider it a tragedy for a different reason: The child did not accomplish what she was – watch this – ‘meant’ to accomplish. We’re not sure about the specifics of her purpose, but we’re sure some purpose was intended, ergo the ‘tragedy’ of the ‘untimely’ death. We’re so sure of transcendent human purpose that we try to stop people from killing themselves and ‘wasting’ their lives.

In the same way, we consider it tragic if someone makes a conscious decision (as opposed to being pressed into poverty by circumstance) to be a bum, begging and living under a freeway in cardboard boxes. The more libertarian among us would no doubt acknowledge a person’s ‘right’ to live as he wants, but even the libertarian has a nagging sense that this life is being wasted. By contrast, we look at someone like Mother Theresa or Jonas Salk, and we applaud them for having accomplished something wonderful, having fulfilled something of their purpose in life.

My point is this: How do those observations make any sense if there’s no purpose in life? If we have no purpose outside of us, then in what sense is it a waste when a child is struck down in its infancy? In what sense is it a waste when young high school students are killed in an auto accident? In what sense is it a waste when someone with tremendous gifts wiles away his life sitting under a tree or a freeway abutment? Why is that a waste?

If I presented these questions to you outside of a religious context – that is, if you weren’t trying to second guess me and protect yourself – your immediate response would be, “It’s obvious! Human beings ought to fulfill their potential. If someone kills himself, he’s wasting his life.”

But why would any suicide be tragic, if there were no purpose to life? If there’s no purpose, then there’s no tragedy, no waste. Yet we intuitively know these things are tragic losses. Therefore, our lives must have some purpose waiting to be discovered and lived.

This is one extended example of all kinds of things we’re aware of, things we know intuitively. We haven’t thought them through, but our language gives us away.

So, when somebody makes a statement like, “Prove to me there’s purpose in life”, my answer is, “You already know there’s purpose.” He may not know what the purpose is, but he already knows human life is meaningful. We all know that. We know it intuitively.

Now the question you must ask yourself is this: “What religious view makes sense out of the idea that human beings have purpose?” Maybe a handful of them do, and then you must go further to decide between them. But some religious views don’t seem to make any sense out of life at all, and those must be false, because they don’t explain the world as it really is.

You see what I’ve done? Instead of arguing for a Christian point of view, I start with an intuition and I ask questions to get a person in touch with their own intuitive knowledge. Then I ask them to make sense out of it. As a Christian, I don’t have that problem. I can make sense out of it. The Bible explains it. The truth it describes fits the real world and resonates with our own deepest intuitions about life.

Any thoughts?



Let’s talk about Mary worship.


I have decided to post my friend Efren’s comment to me in my recent post about Mary worship. I am answering his comments at the end.

Hey, I was glancing though WordPress and saw this post. I Figured I’d offer the true response regarding why Catholics, Eastern Orthodox, and really all most ancient rites of Christianity venerate Mary and answer the question regarding “Aren’t Statues a Form of Idolatry?”. Strangely, seems as though Protestants of the last 500 years don’t award the due respect Mary has deserved for being the ancient title Theotokos (God-Bearer) rather than Christotokos (Christ-Bearer).

Elizabeth called her the “mother of my Lord. ” The baby in Elizabeth’s womb, John the Baptist, leaped for joy at the sound of Mary. Mary even attested to the truth claim when she boldly declared “all generations shall call me blessed.”

Veneration of Mary is really an early practice in Christianity. Some Protestants typically like to point to the 5th century as any signs of the earliest honor or hint to Marian dogmas (Assumption, Ever Virgin, Immaculate Conception, God-Bearer) that pretty much all ancient rites of Christianity adhere too. When we look at the 2nd century, we see major Church Fathers that make comparisons to Eve and Mary and comparing Mary as the Ark of the Covenant. Profound statements when one examines what those figures really are. Even if it’s still 5th century, I’d take that as “ancient” compared to the 1500s when the Reformation happened.

As far as statue worship, people give honor to statues all the time. Presidents may bow at memorable sites to homage, show reverence or even as a sign of common courtesy in a country. As you note, the Bible male’s strong prohibitions regarding idolatry in the Old Testament However, the case regarding the Israelites and their disobedience getting bit by snakes; God instructed them to fashion an image and look to it for healing.

On the contrary, the people of Israel formed a golden calf and worshipped it as God which was a major form of idolatry. God even instructed the Israelites to store the commandments in the Ark to be decorated with golden images of angles (Ex 25:10-22). When Catholics or Orthodox make statues or icons, they’re honoring the saints in a special way. Just like we keep photos of dead loved ones or honor figures like Robert E. Lee, we cherish their memory.

I wrote about this some time ago in a post called Thoughts on Communion of the Saints I’d you’d like to know more it a here

What are your thoughts on all I’ve said? I’m open to hearing what you have to say!


In reply to Menny Thoughts.

Hi Efren, thanks for sharing about your concerns. As far as Mary worship it has a long history as you have said. I feel the supposed lack of respect for Mary is since the Bible places no exalted position other than she was chosen for the fulfilling of God’s will. I feel the true gist of her being chosen relates to her not seeking a high and lifted position which is proven out in the gospels. The fact that Catholics, Eastern Orthodox, venerate her is largely their own doings. The titles you mention are man-made concepts not what is written in the Word of God. She is blessed, like all saints who are and receive blessings.

Yes, statues are a form of idolatry; i must point out the glaring assumption that Mary is venerated as the Ark of the Covenant is pure assumption and tries to clothe her as something she is not. She is not holy in and as designated by R.C.C. She became a saint like all the rest of us, seeing Jesus as savior and Lord and asking for forgiveness. As far as church fathers that term is very shallow when speaking of the early Roman church fathers. God the only real Father used the Roman Church just like He used the Sanhedrin and the host of many unscrupulous people in the gospel accounts. The church of Rome has been used to preserve so many untruths, so people would have a belief system that has keep a true record for all to read and adhere to reference as to the longevity of the Word of God.

You speak of the Arc. What does it symbolize? God’s provision wrapped in the purity of God’s use of Gold of and acacia wood which speaks of Jesus’ dual natures. Mary has only one nature she was conceived in her mother’s womb in sin. Therefore, she had a sinful nature which needed redemption. Reformation is God’s reply to the stench of false doctrine’s and man-made religion. Brave men who love God with all their hearts and stood against the boy’s club of Rome. Reformers brought the truth and the means for the common man to read the blessed Word of God for one’s self. Who keep people ignorant for so many centuries?

The Golden Calf was formed by weak sinful men, who brought bull worship into the emerging and as yet unknown ways of Jehovah God. What happened when the Man of God showed up. The bull God took a direct hit from the Ten Commandments of God. They were given the way out from the plague of snakes because the Son of Man Jesus was being shown as the only one who could save man from a curse. Looking not worshiping, looking for redemption and receiving God’s grace. The Ten Commandments were not decorated with Golden images of angels. The two Cherubim were molded and put there to designate their actual place as guardians of God in heaven as He is most Holy.

Have you ever read the account of John 20:12 where it states, “And she saw two angels in white sitting one at the head and the other at the feet where the body of Jesus had laid.” Why were there two angels standing over the body of Jesus the God/Man? Short answer they were guarding God’s body in the New Testament just like they were shown guarding the Mercy seat in the Old Testament.

Thank You Efren, looking forward to your reply.


The Vanishing American Adult


Mike Rowe, creator and host of dirty Jobs gives a review of The Vanishing American Adult.” Couple years ago, somebody told me a senator from Nebraska was tweeting about the essential business of castrating bulls. I didn’t know who Ben Sasse was, but I was intrigued by his use of social media. I’ve since met him, and like him. If you read this book, you will too. It’s excellent. In particular, the ‘Lessons from the Ranch’ section should be required reading for every parent, every child, and every elected official in America. This really is a book for everyone—well, except the bulls.”


Many of the coming-of-age rituals that have defined the American experience since the Founding: learning the value of working with your hands, leaving home to start a family, becoming economically self-reliant―are being delayed or skipped altogether. The statistics are daunting: 30% of college students drop out after the first year, and only 4 in 10 graduates. One in three 18-to-34-year-olds live with their parents.

In the Vanishing American Adult, Sasse diagnoses the causes of a generation that can’t grow up and offers a path for raising children to become active and engaged citizens. He identifies core formative experiences that all young people should pursue: hard work to appreciate the benefits of labor, travel to understand deprivation and want, the power of reading, the importance of nurturing your body―and explains how parents can encourage them.

Our democracy depends on responsible, contributing adults to function properly―without them America falls prey to populist demagogues. A call to arms, The Vanishing American Adult will ignite a much-needed debate about the link between the way we’re raising our children and the future of our country.


Mannyr— I am on the second chapter of this book. There are so many topics covered in The Vanishing American Adult. It explains the adolescent behavior we see running rampant.

Here is a link that will give you a free copy this book: https://www.download-genius.com/en/search/The%20Vanishing%20American%20Adult%20Ben%20Sasse.html?aff.id=1300

What ya– looking at—oh, nothing.


What is Pornography Addiction?

When we think of addiction, we most often think of being addicted to chemicals. The truth of the matter is that people can also be addicted to behaviors. Some of these behaviors include eating, gambling and sex. And the number one type of sexual addiction is habitual viewing of pornography.

What is pornography? It’s pictures, videos, writing, or other material that is sexually explicit. It often involves the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement.

The word “pornography” comes from two Greek words that mean “prostitute” and “writing,” so the original meaning is “writing about prostitutes.” But today, even though there are still lots of salacious books, pornography is largely about visual images—in magazines, movies, videos and the Internet. Modern technology has brought us photography, videography and the Internet. Now anyone with a TV or computer can watch porn 24/7 in the privacy and secrecy of his own home. This has made it extremely easy to become addicted—a tragic consequence of scientific achievement.

In a study of 932 sex addicts conducted by Dr. Patrick Carnes, 90 percent of men and 77 percent of women indicated that pornography played a significant role in their addiction (Don’t Call it Love: Recovery from Sexual Addictions , 1991, New York, Bantam).

What’s wrong with pornography?

Pornography is destructive to the mind and heart of the viewer even when he’s not addicted to it. God gave the Ten Commandments to steer humanity toward a happy, healthful life and away from the automatic penalties of disobedience. The Bible is filled with praise for God’s wonderful laws. Psalm 119 is by far the longest chapter in the Bible at 176 verses. It’s entirely about praising God for His Word and His laws. Verse 97 says: “Oh, how I love Your law! It is my meditation all day.” Verse 9 is helpful for people struggling with pornography addiction. It says: “How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your word.”

The seventh of the Ten Commandments is “You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14). This brief umbrella command refers to all the various kinds of sexual sins. And sexual sins are the most self-destructive of all. In 1 Corinthians 6:18, the apostle Paul wrote: “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.”

And Jesus Christ revealed the spirit of the law: “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). Therefore lust (sexual fantasizing and craving) is a sin against God. What Jesus said applies just as much to looking at a visual image of a woman. It’s the same principle if a woman is lusting for a man. Therefore, virtually all deliberate viewing of pornography is sinful because of its lustful nature.

What’s wrong with just looking? God designed our minds, hearts and bodies as they are so people would be attracted to the opposite sex. He made men to be more visually-oriented, and He made women to be beautiful. God’s plan is to motivate men to get married and for each man to enjoy his wife for the rest of his life. This is somewhat summed up in Proverbs 5:18-19, which says: “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love.”

At the same time, God doesn’t want any man to see any naked woman other than his wife, and doesn’t want any woman to see any naked man other than her husband. That way, all the excitement is focused on one’s spouse. And no man has his mind desensitized because he is comparing his wife’s body with a thousand other nude bodies that he’s seen on the Internet. So, viewing pornography is never harmless, even when it’s not yet an addiction.

Pornography is addictive!

Peering at porn often starts as casual curiosity, but that often becomes the appetizer for more and more indulgence in what God forbids. The frequent viewings become a habit, and the habit soon becomes an addiction.

Viewing porn excites the mind and sexually arouses the body. A natural consequence is the carnal desire to act out sexually and relieve the sexual tension. Most often, this is done by masturbation. Pornography and masturbation are both habit-forming, and the two together become a powerful force for addiction. The self-stimulation to a sexual climax is momentarily pleasurable, and it can initially elevate a person’s mood, providing a momentary “high.” That usually results in the temptation to repeatedly replicate these feelings, potentially producing an obsessive-compulsive pattern if not stopped in time by the obvious red flags.

Addictive behaviors often cause chemical alterations in the neurotransmitters of the brain which, in turn, alter moods. These changes can temporarily dull pain or produce pleasurable sensations. They therefore reinforce the addiction.

Typically, people who are quickly attracted to this form of addictive behavior do so to escape some emotional state such as depression, loneliness, anxiety, fear or shame, or to escape from the reality of their circumstances. As a man once told me, “In that world, I’m king.”

However, for most addicts, there is a flip side of the coin. Many feel intense shame and grief for the addiction because it goes contrary to their own belief systems and consciences.

Faulty beliefs about self

Some people become sexually addicted even though they came from a healthy and wholesome family background. They first look at pornography out of curiosity and thrill-seeking and then are gradually seduced by the lure of the eroticism.

But often sex addicts have dysfunctional backgrounds and usually have distorted views of themselves. Dr. Patrick Carnes, a pioneer in sexual addiction, has identified four core beliefs of most sexual addicts. Many of the core beliefs that addicts have are acquired from family systems that are dysfunctional. Dysfunctional families are those where poor boundaries exist among family members, emotional needs are not being met, or where abuse of one form or another might exist. Individuals who come from families where addictions have occurred have a greater probability of, or predisposition for, acquiring addictive behavioral patterns.

Here are the core beliefs Carnes outlines in his book, Out of the Shadows.

  1. I am basically a bad and unworthy person.
  2. No one would love me as I am.
  3. My needs are never going to be met if I must depend upon others.
  4. Sex is my most important need.

Dr. Carnes believes that the roots of sexual addiction begin in childhood. He writes: “When a child’s exploration of sexuality goes beyond discovery to routine self-comforting because of the lack of human care, there is potential for addiction. Sex becomes confused with comforting and nurturing.”

As with other forms of addiction, many characteristics are common to sexual addiction. Here are some to be aware of when confronting porn addicts.


Denial is a defense mechanism that maintains the addictive behavior by failing to admit or minimizing the seriousness of the behavior. The first step towards overcoming any addiction is acknowledging that you have a problem. Only when you can truly be honest about your actions and their consequences and take personal responsibility can a healing process begin.

Compulsivity and Dependence

Compulsivity is a recurring impulse that is difficult to resist. The tension of a negative emotional state is relieved when a behavior or chemical is introduced that causes a neuro-chemical reward. That “reward” reinforces and perpetuates the behavior. When this process is repeated multiple times, it creates a physical and/or psychological dependency.

Tolerance and Escalation

Over time, what used to produce a desired effect and state of mind becomes less effective, and this is called tolerance. What typically happens is that the individual needs more of the drug or behavior to get the desired result. With pornography, the cravings tend to degenerate to porn that is more erotic, explicit, kinky or violent. Or the person may act out sexually in more high-risk behaviors such as going to strip clubs, using “escort” services, or connecting with prostitutes online. This escalation leads to increased levels of shame and guilt, which leads to increased desire to “medicate” the mental pain through escapism, and the cycle of dependency increasingly gets reinforced.

Powerlessness and unmanageability

At this point in the downward spiral of addiction, the individual begins to suffer consequences that may impact areas of life such as marriage, family, spiritual life, financial, legal, and possibly others. It’s often at this point that one finally seeks help. The best way to start the recovery process is to seek the help of our all-powerful Heavenly Father. At this level of enslavement, we need God’s help to emancipate us from the sinful bondage.


Post Number 600

Today’s  post is number 600 on Cracked-pot.

Thanks for reading/commenting



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